Nicki BluIs

I always try to make sure my online presence portrays exactly the image I want it to and thus I google myself on a regular basis. The latest time, though, I took it one step further. I googled the penname that I use on many websites. What I found was not shocking. There was nothing of which I was particularly ashamed. In fact I am quite proud of some of the pieces of fiction that are attached to that psuedonym.

But still, in my hyper-sensitive, workforce oriented frenzy, I began to wonder: What if potential employers found these things and linked them back to me? What if they weren't impressed with my poetry? What if they thought my writing was crude and distasteful? What if... they thought this was enough to disqualify me for a position?

I broke all ties with that penname. Every link that could connect "Leonicka Valcius" to "Nicki BluIs" was deleted. With that I breathed a sigh of relief and thought myself safe.

Then the pesky voice of doubt came back. Did I do the right thing? Should I hide such a major part of who I am? Do I want to work at a company that would discount a person's qualification over a trivial nonissue? Was I engaging in self-censorship?

We are living in an age where all our lives are open books. The lines between public and private are blurred beyond recognition. The places where we can "be ourselves" are getting smaller and smaller until we spend every other moment holding our tongues and looking over our shoulders because Big Brother is watching.

And what does he see? He sees that I am nineteen years old. That I am working very hard to forge my own path. He sees that I like to express my hopes, my dreams, and my feelings via the written word. He acknowledges that not all those words are polished and professional. Some are silly. Some are strange. Some are rude and defy the rules of etiquette and political correctness. But all are real. And none are out of the ordinary.

So I proudly present Nicki BluIs! Love her or hate her, she is here to stay.